(not the actual apartment)

Yes, I am hating. A 22-yr old daughter of a BILLIONAIRE just moved into this $88 MILLION NYC apartment. LOOK AT THIS VIEW. Will you marry me, rich biatch? (Photo Credit)

I guess the guy working at the station couldn't wait to get home to watch a little gay porn? But, he probably didn't have to broadcast the sound! HELLO: Is this thing on? (Photo Credit)

COTTTDAAAAAYUM, Kimmy! With all this 72-day fraudulent marriage nonsense, let me remind you why we all fell in love with KIM KARDASHIAN in the first place. A DONK that only a real man can handle. She was pretending to be sad on the beach the other day, but made sure the paparazzi got their money's worth. That's a WOMAN, y'all!

I'm not going to talk about CHRIS BROWN and RIHANNA in this Dirty. Instead, I'm gonna talk about Chris Brown and Chicago's resident tough guy CM PUNK, because Punk is about to put an azz-whuppin down on your boy, the woman beater. These two have been engaging in a "twitter beef" the last couple of days, but Punk took it backstage at a WWE event last night and offered to show him what a beat down from a real man might feel like. I wish this would go down, because I'd buy my first ever WWE ticket. Front row, popcorn, feet up... I'd LOVEIT.

Yesterday, Queen Butterfly of the Land of Lambs MARIAH CAREY went on "GMA" (sans DEM BABIES!) to discuss heart disease and her hubby CORNBALL CANNON'S recent health issues. After a few minutes of much deserved Louboutin shoe coveting on the part of ROBIN ROBERTS, they got down to the subject of WHITNEY HOUSTON, her funeral (which Mariah attended), and the supposed feud between the two divas. Mariah got a little emotional discussing her pal...